Presidential Competency Exam!
Congratulations on your decision to pursue a career as leader of the free world. The following exam, while in no way comprehensive, is intended to assess your basic qualifications and level of occupational competency. Though a failing grade does not automatically exclude you from being elected by low-information voters, hipster millennials, liberal yuppies plagued by white guilt and lesbian feminists with sleeve tattoos, it does strongly indicate that you are better suited for a career in an industry requiring no experience whatsoever and few, if any, measurable skills.
Alternative career paths might include:
1. Community Organizer
2. Law professor at the University of Chicago
3. Serial bad golfer
4. Mom jeans model
INSTRUCTIONS: Circle the correct answer using a No. 2 Che Guevara pencil. You will have eight years to complete this exam.
1. There are how many “states” in the “United States of America”:
2. Your philosophy on governance most closely resembles that of:
a. George Washington
b. King George III
c. Steve Urkel
g. b and c